


let go of your fears and your ghosts

by beekathony



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anthony is 38, Birthday Sex, Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:47:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29439210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beekathony/pseuds/beekathony
Summary: It's the morning of Anthony's 38th birthday, and he wakes with a cold sweat. He never planned on living to be the same age as his father. He reaches over to Kate, and counts his lucky stars that he doesn't have to face this day alone.
Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sheffield
Comments: 15
Kudos: 148





	let go of your fears and your ghosts

Anthony woke up in a cold sweat. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest, and his head was throbbing. _Dear God, was this it?_ Was this how he was to die? He had always dreaded this day.

His 38th birthday.

The age his father had been when he’d died so unexpectedly by a small bee sting.

With a glance over at his wife, he sighed with relief to see that she was still fast asleep. The last thing he needed was to wake Kate with his nightmares. Anthony had never planned to outlive his father, and for years he assumed that come his 38th year, he would fall fatally ill, or perhaps get into a carriage accident. Maybe he would meet his demise just like his father, stung by one of God’s smallest creatures.

This day would be a very long one indeed. Anthony’s hand rested on his chest as he took several deep breaths to calm himself. It had been years since he had truly thought of the day he would die. Every now and then, he would entertain a passing thought, but he could push them away. From the day that Kate entered his life, living became so much easier, and so much fuller.

She had persuaded him to live each day as if it were his last, and to enjoy the present. With his mind off of his bleak future, Anthony had created a life he loved, one that he didn’t wish to leave just yet.

Anthony hadn’t a clue as to the time, but there was a small sliver of moonlight creeping in through the heavy draperies. Once the sun came up, he would have to put on a smile and face the day. Every year on his birthday, Kate and the children ate breakfast on the bed with him, and then he would gather with whatever other Bridgertons were in London that day. He never wanted to make a big deal out of it, in fact, he would be happy to skip the event altogether. It was Kate that wanted to celebrate him. To remind him that growing older was not something to be feared.

Next to him, Kate sighed, before turning on her side to face him. She smiled in her sleep, something Anthony always loved to watch. Kate also talked in her sleep, but usually it was incoherent mumblings.

He stroked her cheek softly, watching her grin grow wider.

If there was one thing he was most proud of in his 38 years of living, it was that he had married Kate Sheffield. The mere thought of existing without her left a whole the size of England in his heart. For Anthony, there was no world without Kate. She had brought him love, and happiness, and best of all, three amazing children.

It was often that Anthony found himself wishing his father were still alive, if only to be there for his youngest siblings and mother. But it was one of his greatest regrets that Kate would never know his father. She would never know the great man he had been, or truly understand why Anthony thought he could never live up to him.

Edmund Bridgerton would have loved Kate. They would have conspired against him, he was sure of it. His mother was an excellent matchmaker, but he was sure that his father would have known Kate was the woman for him with just one look.

As Anthony lied in bed, his nightmare came back to him, the reason for his waking with such a start. It had also been his birthday in his dream, and he had been playing in the garden with the children. A moment later, he heard the worst sound imaginable… the buzzing of a bee. Anthony felt a sharp pain in his chest, and the next thing he knew, he was awake, panting in his bed.

He felt like such a fool to be afraid of a creature he could crush beneath his boot. But that very creature had taken the life of the greatest man he would ever know.

It would be difficult to think of anything else on a day like today. His inevitable demise.

Kate had told him to think of three good things if his mind ever lingered on these thoughts. As he lay next to one of his good things, he took a deep breath and said them out loud quietly.

“Kate,” he breathed in and out, letting his hand rest softly on her head.

“My children,” he took another breath.

“Newton,” Anthony laughed then as he thought of their dog. For the first several years of their marriage, Newton had slept in the bed with them, but once Edmund and Miles were old enough, Newton had grown accustomed to sleeping in the children’s room. Not that Anthony minded, as it gave him and Kate more room for other activities in bed.

“What are you laughing about?” Came a sleepy voice next to him.

“Oh nothing,” Anthony grinned and placed a kiss to her forehead. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Did I hear you call for Newton?” Kate asked, rubbing her hand over her eyes.

He nodded, “I was thinking of three good things.”

Kate sat up in bed, bringing her hand to his cheek. Her fingers rubbed agains the scruff of his beard. As he’d grown older, Anthony had preferred not to shave his face, and he found that Kate rather enjoyed the scratch of his stubble on her smooth skin.

“Oh,” she said softly, her brow creasing as she understood. “You should have woken me earlier, Anthony.”

He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her body close to his and laced their fingers together. “I haven’t been awake that long actually,” he sighed. “Just had a bad dream is all.”

“You have nothing to fear,” Kate squeezed his hand. “If you would like to pretend it’s not your birthday… then we can do that.”

“No,” Anthony shook his head, at that moment realizing that wasn’t what he wanted at all. “The children love any excuse to eat cake,” they both laughed. “I don’t want to ignore today, but it shall be a lot easier if I can hold your hand for the whole day.”

Kate brought his hand to her lips. “That can be arranged.”

Anthony gathered Kate closer, feeling his heart slow to a normal pace. The simple act of holding his wife in his arms was the best medicine. Kate calmed him in ways she could never know. Her presence alone had the power to banish his fears and ghosts. Kate was the soothing balm on his weary soul.

“One day,” Kate said softly against his chest, her fingers stroking his collarbone. “You will have grey hair all over that head of yours. You will wake up and find that you need spectacles to read the paper with,” she grinned. “And your joints will ache in the morning as you rise.”

“They already do ache,” Anthony kissed the top of her head. “But that is probably because of the activities that occurred the night before,” he laughed, letting his hand slide down to her waist.

Kate swatted at his chest playfully, squirming as he tickled her.

“One day you will find wrinkles on your face that weren’t there,” her hand moved to trace his nose, his lips, and his brow. “You will sit in a chair with your grandchild on your lap, telling them the story of how we met and fell in love.”

“What a long story that will be,” Anthony chuckled.

“You will be old and grey one day, Anthony Bridgerton,” Kate pressed her lips softly against his. “Then you will think back on your wonderful life and I hope you don’t have any regrets.”

He was silent, contemplating her words. It was hard to picture himself as an old man. Perhaps because he had never seen his father with greying hair of his own. Anthony was sure of one thing, however — he did not want to live without Kate. He knew this was selfish and cruel, but he hoped that when the time came, he would go first. Better yet, he would prefer to die in her arms, at exactly the same moment she left this earth as well. There was no life worth living in a world without Kate Bridgerton.

“You already have a few grey hairs, you old man,” Kate grinned and ran her fingers through his hair.

“I think I saw a new wrinkle on your forehead just the other day,” Anthony quipped.

“Anthony!”

“Just a small one right there,” Anthony kissed her forehead, where no wrinkles had yet formed. His hands slid over her waist, finding a certain spot that sent her into a fit of giggles. He flexed his fingers, tickling her stomach as she kicked her feet out and burst into laughter.

“Anthony, please stop!” Kate tucked into herself, trying to stop his hands from tickling her. He always knew just exactly where to get her.

Hearing Kate laugh was one of the best sounds in the world, but so was the small gasp that left her lips when he slid his hand across her belly and cupped her mound.

“Did you want me to stop now?” He asked, his breath hot in her ear.

Kate clutched his arm, keeping him right where he was.

“As long as you don’t tickle me again,” Kate sighed and moved her hand under the sheets, finding his stomach. Anthony let out a deep moan of his own. “It’s _your_ birthday after all.”

_Oh how he loved his wife._

Anthony rubbed his finger along her slit, feeling her part her legs further. She was wet already, and he pressed his face into her neck, inhaling her scent. _Lilies and soap._

She arched her back, pressing against his fingers as he stroked her, finally moaning as he pushed one finger inside. Kate’s hand moved over his thigh, until she took his cock in her delicate hand.

“You get thirty-eight kisses today,” Kate kissed his cheek.

He pumped another finger inside of her, and groaned as she began to stroke his shaft. Her fingers were light on him, going from the base to the tip, and then she moved her thumb over the head.

“Kate,” he mumbled against her lips.

She kissed his mouth before sitting up, causing his fingers to slip out of her as she adjusted her position.

“Thirty-six kisses to go,” Kate said coyly. Anthony watched in astonishment as Kate climbed over his body, straddling him with her back facing his front.

His hands had just settled on her hips as her tongue flicked out over the tip of his cock.

“Oh God, Kate,” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Thirty-five,” she kissed the head, before taking more of him in her mouth. Kate wiggled her bottom, stretching across him. Anthony pulled her closer, angling his head just so and settled in between her thighs.

Kate began to kiss every inch of his cock, then swirled her tongue around it. Her mouth took him in easily, and Anthony found it quite difficult to focus on anything else. But he could feel her heat, and he parted her legs and licked up her center. She arched her back, moaning and the vibrations he felt on his cock made him shiver.

“Twenty more to go,” she mumbled as she began to move her head up and down his length. Anthony wasn’t sure he could last through another twenty kisses, but he wanted to make her come first. He was a gentleman after all.

He doubled his efforts and used two fingers to open her to him, and licked like a cat lapping at milk.

Kate’s movements slowed and he could feel the tension in her body building. Her hand gripped him harder, and with another flick of his tongue, Kate cried out, and he sucked her down.

It was only moments later that Kate took him back into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the tip and uttering words Anthony had only dreamed of her saying.

“Two more,” she pumped his cock faster, and Anthony felt his muscles tighten.

A second later and he came hard, spilling himself into her mouth. Anthony leaned back against the headboard, his hands cradling his wife’s waist. Kate collapsed on him, and after several minutes, found her place at his side, tucked under his arms.

“One more kiss,” she whispered and placed a tender kiss to his cheek. “Happy birthday, my love.”

With his wife by his side, Anthony was sure that he could face this day, and he longed for the future she had imagined, with greying hair and grandchildren to spoil. In the silence of their bliss, Anthony found the courage to say goodbye to his fears and his ghosts.


End file.
